Self-confidence is not innate – it is a skill we can all learn and build upon. In this post we will explore 18 strategies to build self-confidence – starting right now.
Have you ever believed that certain individuals are simply born with self-confidence?
Do you think that confidence is an inherent quality granted to some and not to others?
Interestingly, self-confidence isn’t a genetic trait; it develops through learned behaviors, dedicated effort, and practice.
Anyone can adopt specific strategies to enhance their self-confidence.
However, some individuals may apply these strategies more effectively, resulting in higher levels of confidence than others.
Key Takeaways:
- Self-Confidence is a Learnable Skill: It is not an innate trait; rather, it can be developed and strengthened over time.
- Common Misconceptions: Many believe that self-confidence is something people are born with, but it is actually cultivated through learned behaviors and consistent practice.
- Accessibility of Confidence: Anyone has the potential to learn and apply specific strategies to enhance their self-confidence.
- Variability in Application: While all individuals can build confidence, some may utilize these strategies more effectively, leading to greater levels of self-assurance.
- Exploration of Strategies: This post will present 18 actionable strategies to help you start building your self-confidence immediately.
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how to build self-confidence: A Skill that can be learned and developed
The more effort you put into building your confidence and challenging it, the stronger it grows.
Highly self-assured individuals have achieved their level of confidence through experience, experimentation, and extensive practice. They understand that confidence breeds further confidence.
Above all, confident individuals embrace the idea that they can continuously enhance their self-assurance using various strategies and techniques.
If you’re looking to boost your self-confidence, here are 18 effective strategies to help you cultivate this essential skill. Feel free to use one, several, or all of them, but remember that the key is to consistently work on your self-confidence.
Like a muscle, self-confidence responds best to consistent exercise and builds over time.
Consistency is the key to success.
how to build self-confidence: 18 Strategies You Can Use
Since we are all unique individuals, certain strategies will resonate more with some of us than with others.
It’s important to acknowledge that there will be natural challenges as you try out different approaches and discover which ones work best for you.
Keep in mind that each success will build your confidence, so the more effort you invest, the quicker and stronger your self-assurance will grow.
1. Strive for excellence instead of perfection.
The reality is that perfection is a rare achievement.
Achieving consistent perfection in everything we do is simply not feasible.
Since perfection is typically unattainable, striving for it often leads to unfinished tasks.
Does this mean we should resign ourselves to mediocrity? Absolutely not!
Instead, we should tackle each endeavor with enthusiasm and a commitment to quality. Aim for excellence, complete the task, and then move forward. There’s no shame in achieving excellence, even if it falls short of perfection!
2. Start the day right with a positive morning routine.
Accomplishing even a few small things in the morning guarantees that you have met with some success right away. It sets you up for a successful day.
Just knowing that you have completed some tasks first thing in the morning is something to feel good about, and it will give you the confidence to achieve more throughout the day.
“Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well too.”
David Storey
3. Use positive self-talk.
Think about some of the negative things you say to yourself (even if it’s just in your head.) Would you talk to your mother – your best friend – your daughter – that way?
If that idea makes you cringe, then it’s a guarantee you should not be talking to yourself that way, either.
Speak to yourself in a kind, considerate, and supportive manner.
4. Smile and look people in the eye.
Maintaining eye contact conveys confidence, while a smile exudes warmth and friendliness. By practicing these two behaviors, you will naturally come across as more self-assured.
Additionally, smiling and making eye contact foster positive feelings in others, leading them to perceive you in a more favorable way.
5. Make time to do what you love.
In our fast-paced modern lives, we often find ourselves busy with tasks for others or engaging in everyday activities (laundry, anyone?).
Is it selfish to carve out time for ourselves? Absolutely not.
It’s crucial to recognize our own value and dedicate time to activities that resonate with us.
Make a plan to engage in the things you love.
Whether it’s setting aside every Tuesday as reading night or signing up for a Tai Chi class on Sunday afternoons, schedule time for yourself in your calendar.
You deserve this time, and acknowledging and honoring your worthiness will help build your confidence.
6. Take control. Live your life with purpose.
While you can’t control every aspect of life, it’s essential to recognize what you can and cannot influence.
You have the power to seek out your purpose and engage in activities that hold significance for you.
Set ambitious goals for yourself, and then determine how to turn those dreams into reality.
Develop a plan.
Break it down into SMART goals.
Begin taking steps today that will guide you toward realizing your dreams.
7. Accept compliments graciously.
This is an important point.
The last time someone complimented you, did you downplay it with responses like, “Oh, this old dress?” or “I didn’t do that well”? It’s time to stop that!
Compliments are given out of genuine appreciation, so don’t undermine the sincerity of the giver by dismissing their words.
Instead, learn to smile and simply say, “Thank you.” Then, allow yourself to be quiet. There’s no need to add anything further.
Let the compliment resonate within you.
Appreciate the fact that someone else took the time and effort to notice something positive and good about you.
8. Give genuine compliments to others.
Confident individuals recognize and value the contributions and strengths of others. They are not hesitant to express their appreciation openly.
They understand that putting others down to elevate themselves only creates a false sense of confidence.
Instead, uplifting others through encouragement and support not only enhances their confidence but also boosts your own.
9. Know your strengths.
It’s important to acknowledge your unique talents and the special skills you bring to the table. Recognizing these strengths doesn’t imply that you’re superior to others; rather, everyone has areas where they excel and others where they may struggle.
Take the time to identify your personal strengths.
If you’re having trouble pinpointing them, consider what activities come most easily and effortlessly to you. Those are likely your strengths, and you might be surprised to discover that not everyone shares those abilities.
Some people can sing beautifully, others can paint stunning artwork, and some have an incredible knack for organizing a closet.
Our natural talents often feel so inherent that we forget they are truly special.
10. Accept your imperfections.
Avoid being hard on yourself for things you genuinely cannot do or control.
Instead, concentrate on your strengths and learn to appreciate those who excel in areas where you may not. Remember, it’s our unique qualities that make each of us special.
11. Choose to impress yourself instead of others.
We all desire the approval and acceptance of others because we are inherently social beings. However, it’s even more crucial to like and accept ourselves.
You can never please everyone—it’s simply not achievable.
Instead, focus on being true and honest to yourself.
Which is more fulfilling: living a false life in pursuit of approval that may or may not come, or embracing an authentic life where you know and love who you are? Which of these paths do you believe fosters greater confidence?
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
Lao Tzu
12. Stand up for yourself, your rights, and your beliefs.
It’s natural for us to seek belonging within a group, which can significantly influence our behavior. Sometimes, this leads us to follow the crowd, even when we know it’s not in our best interest.
While it’s not always necessary to argue every point or act aggressively (though there are times when it might be warranted), no one has the right to make you feel small or unworthy. You were not meant to be diminished by others.
Standing up for yourself is a powerful expression of self-respect.
When you give yourself that respect, your confidence will soar, as people tend to treat you the way you treat yourself.
13. Choose to look on the sunny side.
Train your mind to focus on the positives in life.
This doesn’t mean you need to be happy or pretend to be happy all the time; however, your attitude plays a crucial role.
If you believe you will fail, you’re likely to put in less effort, leading to failure. On the other hand, if you believe you will succeed, you will either achieve your goal or gain valuable insights for improvement next time.
Consider a rainy day: it’s simply that—a rainy day.
One person might view it as a chance to enjoy a cozy day indoors, while another may spend the entire day complaining. The rain is the same for both, but the person who chooses to embrace positivity is bound to have a much better day.
14. Engage in acts of kindness.
Studies have shown that the best way to boost confidence is to do something kind for someone else. You will feel helpful and appreciated and wanted and needed.
15. Learn to relax and refocus your mind.
Practice deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or other mindful activities to learn how to control your breath, which in turn controls your nervous system.
When you take control of your physical responses, it becomes easier to also control your thoughts and emotions.
It’s hard to feel confident when you are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
16. Learn how to leave your comfort zone.
Learning should be a lifelong activity. It activates previously quiet parts of your brain and stimulates the senses. Even so, it can be frightening to attempt new and unfamiliar activities.
Know yourself well enough to know how far out of your comfort zone to start…you may leap, or you may prefer gradual steps in. Honor yourself, but give yourself that push you need to try new things.
17. Fake it.
You might be amazed at how much more confident you feel when you choose to act as if you are completely self-assured!
At times, all it takes is putting a smile on your face, taking a deep breath, and moving forward—despite feeling terrified. In certain situations, the best approach is to “fake it until you make it.” As you adopt this behavior, you’ll gradually feel more genuine and at ease.
18. Prepare ahead of time for unfamiliar experiences.
Unfamiliar situations can be frightening.
When facing an uncomfortable situation, think about steps you can take to give yourself more control.
For example, if you are going to an event in which you must socialize with strangers, you can plan ahead in many ways in order to feel prepared for the event.
Read More:
- 25 Confidence Quotes for Women: Positive Words to Build Self-Esteem
- How to Build Courage and Be Brave
- How to Appear Confident, Even When You’re Not
- Do You Struggle With Self-Discipline? 10 Questions That Focus On Self-Control
Final Thoughts on Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence: 18 Strategies to Build Self-Esteem
Now that you understand how to build self-confidence, what strategies will you start using to build your confidence up?
A good choice is to pick the ones that are easiest and most comfortable at first – these early successes will pump up your confidence muscle and encourage you to try something a little more challenging as you move forward.
Get started with any of the strategies discussed here, and soon you will come up with additional ways to build your confidence!
Genuine, lasting self-confidence is achievable for you.
Lori is an energetic woman in her early 60s, dedicated to living life fully through self-awareness and self-care. Inspired by her own transformative journey toward confidence, self-love, and positivity, she writes with genuine passion and authenticity.
With degrees in Psychology, Education, and Nonprofit Management, Lori’s diverse career has spanned education administration, counseling, teaching, conference planning, and the rewarding chaos of full-time motherhood. What ties these experiences together is her steadfast commitment to uplifting others.
Today, Lori focuses her energy on empowering mature women, advocating for the vital role of self-care in building confidence and joy. She firmly believes that every woman in midlife deserves to feel capable, radiant, and fulfilled. Join Lori as she shares insights and inspiration to help you live your best life!
Great advice and you are right we don’t need to say something sometimes.
A brilliant list of tips here. I do need to learn to accept compliments more readily, I’m definitely guilty of saying ‘what, this old thing’ far too often. I also love the tip about smiling and making eye contact. This has been made a bit difficult with wearing masks, but you can still tell from someone’s eyes that they are smiling at you! It definitely makes me feel more confident if I smile at someone, they smile back and then I sense they are friendly.
Thank you so much, Alison! I agree, masks make things challenging with the smiles – but I have learned to “listen” for the smile in their words – it’s a new skill for me for sure! And, yes – isn’t it crazy how hard it is to learn to accept compliments?!? Thanks so much for reading!!!
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